HR is my gig and how I make a living. But it’s not my life. There are so many things going on that keep me up at night more than HR. Mostly worrying about my kids, but what mom doesn’t?
On Saturday, this little lady to our right, Autumn Pasquale was reported missing by her family in Clayton, NJ. Her body was found Monday night discarded in a recycle bin at the home of 2 teenage brothers (15 & 17) who confessed to strangling her to death. They were turned in by their mother when she became concerned about a Facebook post on one of her son’s pages. Autumn would have celebrated her 13th birthday next week. Law enforcement is speculating pre-meditation since one of the charges is “luring”.
As a mom, my emotions run the gamut between sadness and anger and everything in between for the Pasquale family. And I’m also bummed for the family of the boys. Can you imagine turning in your sons for suspicion of murder?
I sound like my parents when I ask, “what is going on in our world today?” but how can we not ask that question? Just a few weeks ago Jessica Ridgeway, a 10-year old Colorado young lady went missing and was found dead.
I posed the question on my FB page, “Do you think these boys should be tried as adults?” I don’t know every angle of the law but NJ law’s age restrictions on trying juveniles as adults is between the ages of 15 and 17 — so it’s a possibility.
Then I watched as the comments and bantering grew on my FB question. You know when random friends — a guy who you went to high school with and your girlfriend from the Midwest — will spar on your FB page. Interesting to watch and great perspectives nonetheless.
One of the arguments was that, as a society, are we coddling young people and not holding them accountable for their behavior? A kid who doesn’t experience consequences to their behavior will produce an adult who does the same. Is there too much emphasis on only getting them counseling and worrying about hurting their feelings instead of taking the old school tough love approach? I’ve seen kids be disrespectful and mouth off to parents and the complete embarrassment of the parent forced them to react in an apologetic, excuse-producing way. “Oh, he gets this way when he’s tired.” Huh? My mother would have cracked me without uttering a word. And I would have deserved it.
I know how I feel about how these boys should be tried for this senseless crime. Some people say that God should be the only judge. But we have a court system on earth so final judgement will come later. Children at a young ages can easily know the difference from right and wrong. The demand by parents to hold children accountable for their behavior has to start early and with consistency.
But back to my original question — do you think these boys should be tried as adults? Why or why not?
And an even bigger concern — are we doing enough to ensure that future generations understand that all behavior comes with consequences and that they’ve got to own up to that behavior and accept the consequences?
Stay tuned…more on this coming up!
What a thought-provoking post, Kimberly! There seems to be so much of this sort of thing going on with young people engaging in dangerous and risky behavior. Your question is: should they be tried as adults? It was murder, at 15 and 17 many young people are tried as adults for other crimes much less evil and severe. There are consequences for our actions and this is a violation far beyond teen pranks. What will happen to them in prison, probably nothing good. But society will be protected from other actions these two could commit,
First off, kudos to the mother for turning her sons in. I simply can not imagine the pain and heartbreak she is enduring. I would like to say I would have done the same thing if I were her but in all honesty I can not say that because I don’t know and I hope I never have to know.
Without knowing the entire scenario, the mental status of these boys, I will go out on the limb and say “yes, try them as adults”. I have children 17 and 15. They know the difference between video games, reality show TV and more importantly, right and wrong.
The 17 year old boy is less then a year away from being eligible to vote, join the military or do any of those other things that 18 is the magic number for. Being a career military man, I have also had service members under me who were only 17. So yes, he should definitely be tried as an adult.
The 15 year old? I don’t know. I know I said earlier to try them both as adults but I hesitate a bit on the 15 year old. Having been the 15 year old and having a brother a few years older then me, I recall doing almost anything to please him. Some of the things I did, I look back on now and really can’t understand why I did them, other then to please my older brother. This one will need to be evaluated by people a lot smarter then me. So, for the 15 year old, I guess I am at 50/50.
Hi, thanks for your post. I hope I would turn my son in…but as Joe says, I hope even more that I’m never in such a situation! What a nightmare. Both sets of parents must be enduring unbelievable torture and heartbreak. I remember when I was 15 and I have to say I think they should both be tried as adults. If not that, then at least the 17 year old.
Maybe I am the hopeful pervasive optimist.. or maybe it is because I remember what it is like to be 15 years old?
15 Years old, what a horrible age. The age where you could be convinced that the sky is green, and the ocean is yellow. The era of Peer Pressure.
Yes, what they did was senseless, but do either of them have Any concept of the totality of what they did? of their actions? the way we as adults do? do they have the perception of Reason as we do as adults?
Science has proven that teens brains are asleep till they hit 27 – so, what does that mean? and how can we make a Permanent decision about a CHILD’s life, no matter how brutal the crime, until we have better understanding of who or what that child will be as an adult.
We are being the judge and jury to children.. Children who truly have no full aspect of reasoning..
If we want to treat children like adults, then should we also stop helping our own kids? should we allow them to drink alcohol? Allow them to drive at the age of 13 or younger? Should we no longer discipline them? or strive to help them in life to be better people.. and instead let nature take it’s course..
Should a 15 year old be allwed to vote, if we treat them like adults? Should they have all legal rights that we as adults do? and if your answer is NO.that a kid is a kid, and should be kept living as a kid.. then why should they be punished as an adult?