Is real work supposed to be fun?

I’m a fan of reading leadership blogs and That’s Why They Call it Work got my attention this morning.  For the record, I really admire this author and her style.  I was nodding my head in agreement like an enthusiastic cheerleader while reading the article.  The author compares ‘old school’ leadership styles of how employees should be loyal company soldiers and do what they’re told vs. a workplace where employees are empowered, have  caring leadership and meaningful work.

This article sets up an amazingly positive and progressive concept of how workplaces and leaders should be but you know what they say about something being too good to be true right?  Well this is too good to be true.  Workplaces are like families and have various levels of dysfunction from top to bottom.  I have been guilty of saying, “There is no nirvana, that’s why it’s called work.”   So while I was agreeing with the words I was reading, my cynical voice was shouting that it’s unrealistic.  It’s just not possible or practical to give every employee a job where the work is fun and stimulating.  It’s common for people to have parts of their jobs that they don’t like.  Equally common is for people to be in a job they hate because they need a paycheck.

The author goes on to say that companies should hire people who have passion for what they do instead of being in it for the money.  While that would really be cool, most people work to make a living.  It’s the perfect balance when we’re able to do both — love what we do and make a living.  But I haven’t interviewed anyone, in over two decades, who didn’t express an interest in the salary for the position they were interviewing for.

On the topic of hiring, I found the below comment absolutely golden:

When we hire people, we shouldn’t be so obsessive about whether they have seven years of marketing or an MBA or some obscure certification. Employers need people to have some level of proficiency with the major elements of the job. But we put way too much emphasis on formal job requirements, in the stupidest possible way.

Again, while this concept is progressive and totally rocks, here’s the problem:  show me a hiring manager or recruiter who is capable of relinquishing their purple squirrel mentality and willing to be creative in the hiring process instead of looking for a resume that’s a mirror image of a job description.  There’s another area that needs fixing and a story for another day.

So while the perfect workplace leadership scenario and the perfect employee-employer relationships are amazing concepts, we’re not there…yet!

What do you think?  I’d love to hear your comments.

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Why Good Communication is Like a Nap

Both are underrated, refreshing and should be enjoyed more frequently!

It seems that all I can think and write about is forms of communication — whether it’s feedback, sensitive discussions, listening, body language or the how’s and the why’s of communicating.

I’m not going to apologize for my borderline obsession on this topic because communication is an integral part of sustaining positive relationships — personal and professional.  I often question if we make enough of an effort to do it right.  Can you think of a personal or professional situation that escalated into a misunderstanding?  If you go back and trace the communication trail, could it have been avoided?  This is one of those gray areas that reflects the countless styles of human interaction.  And like humans – it’s imperfect.

I have a little story about my own epic fail with my daughter.  After you read it, I hope that you’ll have a takeaway on the significance and simplicity of recognizing communication styles of ourselves and others.

A few weeks ago, my 20-year-old daughter sent me a text message telling me that her “dumb phone” was falling apart and was there any chance of getting a new phone now instead of waiting until our contracts renewed in 6 months.  You see, this was about the 1oth time she’s initiated the cell phone discussion.  Each time, I gave her the “C’mon, your priorities should be on school, not having a smart phone so you can update your Facebook” speech. Little did she know that I was already in the process of purchasing pre-owned smart phones to surprise her and her brother for their upcoming birthdays.

Since I had information she didn’t have and didn’t want to spoil the surprise, I was nonchalant with her concern of having a broken phone.  Later that day she called me with emotions boiling over.  She felt I was dismissing her and didn’t understand why I wasn’t acknowledging the issue of the broken phone or willing to discuss options to solve the problem.

Whoa!  I get it — calm down girlfriend!  So while I was ascending the throne of Duchess of Damage Control, everything I neglected to do hit me right between the eyes.

If I had a do-over I would:

Address & acknowledge the details & priorities with clarity & factual information. My daughter’s desire for a new cell phone wasn’t about having an 8-megapixel camera — it was simply about having a phone that worked properly and without broken buttons.

Tailor communication based on your knowledge of the listener’s style. Had I been wearing my empathetic hat, I would have gone back to my college days and recalled the trepidation of managing the new demands and life skills that college students face.  My lack of communication added to her pressure that ultimately resulted in the enjoyable emotional ambush I received.

Set expectations and next steps. What are the available options to solve the problem and what is the timetable?

When we take time to find the pain points of discussions and consider options to work towards an agreeable solution, we have an immediate progression in our relationships.  Sure we’ll have those times when the solution doesn’t result in a happy happy joy joy ending but don’t we owe it to each other to listen and be heard with clarity?

 

Photo credit:  stock.xchng

 

 

 

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5 rules for feedback that work

When we talk about communication in the form of feedback at work, both managers and employees tend to get anxious and basic conversations quickly become burdensome and uncomfortable.

In my post, Did you mean to say it that way? I wrote about how we communicate and the importance of  being genuine vs. scripted.

With a bit of practice and some simple guidelines, the feedback conversations people normally dread can take place much easier. Practice doesn’t always make us perfect but it will surely make the process easier. Before hitting the topics, it’s important to remember that preparation is key.

We’re working with humans who have minds of their own that are filled with opinions. It’s reasonable to have a dialog and anticipate any follow-up questions that may arise for an effective discussion. Notice it’s about having a discussion – when people are speaking to each other - not at each other.

Speak Productively

If you want the person to engage in a discussion, avoid speaking in the first person. I guarantee that if you use the word “you” in your conversation, the person will not hear a word you’re saying. It’s natural for humans to feel defensive when addressed this way and while you think they’re paying attention, they’re probably rehearsing comments of defense in their head.

Keep the conversation in the third person and speak about the work issue or behavior. A simple example is to avoid statements like, “You missed the last 2 deadlines” and say, “The last 2 deadlines haven’t been met.” When people are addressed in a non-threatening way, they’ll become more receptive and self-aware.

Because this style of communicating may not come naturally, a trick I use when coaching managers is to visualize the issue or behavior as a real object that you can touch and hold. It’s the basic rule of addressing the issue or behavior rather than the individual.

Be Prepared

During a feedback discussion, you should anticipate questions regarding someone’s work performance so have your details handy. Additional specifics provide clarity so that everyone is on the same page regarding expectations. The last thing anyone needs is for either person to leave a discussion feeling confused. You’d be surprised how frequently managers will talk “all around” a topic instead of addressing it head on.

Set Expectations

You may be asked how to come up with solutions or ideas for improvement. Since employees should make an effort to be accountable for their careers and continued learning, managers should turn the question around and ask the employee to think about ways they believe will help them to work smarter. We shouldn’t be treating employees like little soldiers who will do as we command, we should be encouraging them to think about how they work.

When we set expectations to focus on upward mobility, this provides an opportunity to get into the habit of solving work challenges both independently and collectively.

Manage Anger and Emotion

Even when you’ve made every effort to speak productively, how do you handle a situation if someone responds with anger? When humans become angry, they’re reacting to feeling offended, wronged or threatened. It’s a modern form of the traditional fight-or-flight response and important to recognize. You can diffuse the anger by acknowledging the reaction and calmly start to ask the person questions. When you ask questions relative to the specifics of what they’re angry about, the person will almost be forced to calm down so he or she can answer the questions.

Obviously, unpredictable situations can raise challenges but the most important thing to do is to continue to treat the issues as objects without taking these reactions personally or allowing ego to get in the way. Remain rational and get the conversation back on track.

Provide Ongoing and Frequent Feedback

Most people appreciate getting a temperature check of how they’re doing at work even if it’s a weekly 10-minute chat. Employees have a higher level of commitment, contentment and confidence when they know where they stand. It’s also an excellent way to create and build a positive employer-employee relationship.  Keep in mind I’m not referring to a formal performance review process of having a sit down and reviewing performance with a subjective form with little boxes checked off next to an employee score rating.  (That’s a topic for another day!)

When leaders and managers begin to realize that the best employee-employer relationship is one that is mutually beneficial, it’s noticeable and can have a positive ripple effect throughout any organization.  After all, employees are humans and deserve to be treated as such.

Also posted on Women of HR.

Photo credit iStockphoto


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